INDEX TO SAMPLE PAGES

The Guide is always growing, with new pages being included all the time, but there is always room for more entries! We've put a selection of entries online, including many that have been contributed by visitors to the site, to give you a flavour of what the Guide is about. We haven't put all of the entries online because we want you to come to a convention and contribute to charity for the pleasure of seeing them!

If you'd like to contribute an entry yourself, please click here for details of how to do so. We'd prefer you to fill in the gaps in the Guide rather than duplicate existing entries, so please have a look through the list below first, to get an idea of the range of topics we cover. We'd like to see entries about South Park, Twin Peaks, Stargate SG1, Judge Dredd, Robocop, Spaceballs, Terminator, Alien, Lara Croft, the Simpsons, the Borg, Conspiracy Theories, Buck Rogers, the Teletubbies, Battlestar Galactica, the Emergency Medical Hologram from ST Voyager, Flash Gordon, Flash RAM, Flash All Purpose Cleaner, Flash Gits, Courtship Rituals Involving Brillo Pads or a thousand and one other topics, so please get cracking!

Latest new entries: Kitchens by Tom Briggs, The Beatles contributed by Dustin Rojas, and Speech by DragonkillerNZ.

Remember all these entries were written by people like you (except the ones contributed by Hodgesaargh! -- nobody is like him) so read a few, be inspired, and send us in some entries!

All entries sent in will be submitted to the Editor for inclusion in the full Guide and a selection will also be added to the Web site. If the Editor likes your contributions (and you included your postal address) he may issue you with an official Guide Researcher's Body Debit Card.

These are all EXISTING Guide entries - only the highlighted ones are readable on this Web site but all the rest can be viewed wherever the Guide appears at a con. If you wish to send in an entry, it should preferably be on a subject not already on this list, unless you can add something new to an existing topic.

100 THINGS NEVER TO SAY DURING SEX - A MESSAGE TO ALL WIZARDS - AAAA - AARDVARK - ABRAXAS - ABSOLUTE ZERO - ACE RIMMER - ADAM AND EVE - ADVICE FOR THE EVIL OVERLORD - AFTERLIFE - AGNES NUTTER - AGRAJAG - AIRPLANE - AL KAHLI - ALCOHOL - ALCOHOL AFTER EFFECTS - ALCOHOL vs GUILT - ALCOHOL: Quillian water - ALIBI - ALIEN ELIMINATION & IDENTIFICATION - ALIENS - ALIENS IN NEW YORK - ALIENS XENOPHOBIA SONG - ALLOSIMANIUS SYNECA - ALLS FALLOW - ALPHA CENTAURAN ALCOHOL ENHANCING DEVICE - ALTERNATE UNIVERSES - ALTERNATE UNIVERSES AND HYGIENE - ALTRIAN FERNIPSGRECK - AMALGAM, Gory Hillock - AMEBOID ZINGATULARIANS - AMYL NITRATE - ANARCHY - ANCIENT POETS WITH SILLY NAMES - ANDROIDS - ANTARTOTH, Camping On - ANTI-CRIMES - ANTI-DROCI - ANTICHRIST (THE) , ROAD RUNNER - ANTIGRAVITY: The Feline Butterology Theory - ANTIPASTA - APHRODISIACS - APOCRALYPSE, The - ARAS NINE - ARCTURAN MEGASPEED (Very illegal drug) - ARCTURAN MEGAWEED (Illegal drug) - ARCTURUS - ARDERIA - ARRAKIS (Dune) - ARRAKIS AND DISASTER AREA - ARSENAL - ART - ASGARD - ASHK'ENTE, Rite of - ASLAN - AURORA CORIALIS (CORIOLIS) - AUSTRALIA - AUSTRALIAN LAGER and Wombats - AUTHORS - AUTOCONDIMENTOR - AZRAEL, the Great Attractor - B'ZUGDA HIARA - BABEL FISH - BABYLON 5 - BAR BILLIARDS - BARNARD'S STAR - BARS - BASEBALL - BASINGSTOKE - BASTABLON - BATTLESTAR GALACTICA - BAZZANORMITES - BEACH/HAWAIIAN SHIRTS - BEARDS - BEATLES, The - BEAUTY CONTESTS - BEER - BEER HUNTER, The game of - BEGINNING, The - BELLY BUTTONS - BETELGEUSE - BETHSELAMIN - BETTER THAN LIFE - BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD - BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES - BILL GATES in the afterlife & a father! - BISTROMATHICS - BLACK EQUALS WHITE - BLACK HOLES - BLACK TRENCHCOATS - BLAGULON KAPPA POLICE - BLAKE, AVON, FEDERATION - BLAKES 7 - BLAKE'S SEVEN CREW - BLAKES'S 7, extra info - BLART VERSENWALD III - BLISS AT IMPERIAL COLLEGE - BLU TAK - BLUE OYSTER CULT - BOB DYLAN - BODY DEBIT CARD - BOEING 747 - BONSAI MOUNTAINS - BOOKWORM, .303 - BOOTS - BORROWING - BRAD MAJOR'S FAVE FIVES - BRAT-BURGER - BRICK - BRIGHTON, A life in the day of - BROCKIAN ULTRA CRICKET RULES - BUSINESS - BYPASSES - CAFFEINE - CAMPAIGN FOR REAL TIME - CANADIANS - CANADIANS, Part 2 - CANNABIS - CAPRONEXUS D - CAPTAIN BRIAN JAMES - CAPTAIN CARROT - CARELESS TALK COSTS LIVES - CAROC CARDS - CARPETS - CARRIER BAGS - CARROTS - CASABLANCA - CASANUNDA, Count Giamo - CASIP And AAAAAAA - CASUALTY (Emergency Room) - CAT - CATHOLIC THEME PARK? - CELESTIAL HOMECARE OMNIBUS - CENSUS - CENTAURI - CERTAIN DEATH - CHAIN LETTERS - CHARLOTTE HOUSE - CHASTITY - CHAT SHOWS - CHEESE - CHESS - CHICKEN AND EGG DILEMMA - CHIMERA - CHIMERIA - CHOCOLATE - CLANGERS - CLARINETS - COCA-COLA - COFFEE - COHEN THE BARBARIAN - COLD FUSION - COLLAPSING HRUNG - COMPARISONS - COMPUTER CREATED DEFINITIONS - COMPUTERS 1 & 2 - CONDOMS - CONVENTIONS - COP SHOWS - COPYRIGHT - COSMIC AUTHOR THEORY - COWARDICE - CRIPPLE MR ONION - CRITTERS - CROSSWORDS - CRUCIFIED - CUCKOO, Clock Building - CURIOUS SMELLS OF THE UNIVERSE - CURRY - CURSE OF 42, The - CUSHIONS - CYBER SPACE - CYBERPUNK AND THE POST 80s PSYCHE - DALEKS - DAMOGRAN - DARK SUCKERS - DAVE HODGES, TIME LORD? - DAVID BOWIE - DEALING WITH LACK OF TIME - DEANNA TROI - DEATH BY CHOCOLATE - DEATH, SUICIDE - DEATH - DEEP FAT FRYER - DEFINITELY CORRECT SPEECH - DEFINITIVE INNAKURACIYES IN GUIDE - DEHYDRATED OCEAN, THE - DELIRIUM TREMENS - DELIVERED PIZZA, Grand Unification Theory of - DENT, Arthur Philip - DENTRASSI - DEPRESSION - DEVIANT ALIEN HITCHHIKER AT LARGE! - DEVILLED HAM - DICTIONARY - DIET COKE - DIGITAL WATCH - DINOSAURS - DISASTER AREA - DISCWORLD - DISCWORLD COMPUTERS - DOCTOR DEMENTO - DOCTOR WHO - DOCTOR, The - DOPPEL-GANGER - DOPPY'S RULES OF ETIQUETTE, Parts 1 to 4 - DORDELLIS WARS - DOUBLE HEADED GINGERBREAD MEN - DOUGHNUTS - DOUGLAS ADAMS, DOUBLE DECKER BUSES & LIFE EXPECTANCY - DR SCHOLL SANDALS - DRABBLE - DREAMS BY MAIL - DROSS - DRUNKENESS - DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, ADVANCED - DUNMANIFESTIN - DWARF BREAD - EADRAX - EARTH parts 1 to 4 - EARTH POLICEMEN - EAST INDIA TEA COMPANY - ECCENTRICA GALLUMBITS - EEZEEREED - EFFRAFAX OF WUG - EGGPLANTS - EK'EETHUMP, FOURTEENTH & A HALFTH TRIBE - EK'EETHUMP SITHEE - EKIS AND BROTOMS - ELECTRICITY - ELECTRONIC THUMB - ELEPHANT - ELEPHANTS (Hermit) - ERIC CONSPIRACY, The - ESFLOVIAN - EVENING CLASSES - EXCLUSIVE POSSESSION - EXPERTS - FAMOUS WOMBATS IN HISTORY - FANTASY - FAREY NIC - FAULTS - FBI AGENTS - FEMINISM - FERENGI (Misc.) - FIFTY THREE MORE THINGS TO DO IN ZERO GRAVITY - FILKS - FINLAND - FIRE - FLEET - FOOTBALL - FOOTBALL - RAIN, SLIME AND DRIBBLING ETC - Footnotes 1 to 312754 - FOR SALE - FORBIDDEN PLANET - FORD - FORD PREFECT, Guide Researcher - FRANCIS BACON - FREUD, SIGMUND - FROGSTAR ROBOTS - FROGSTAR WORLD B - FROM THE TEACHING OF DIDRAM BODO SIME, 6:6 - FUNCTIONS - FUOLORNIS DRAGONS - FUTURE PUBLISHING - GAG HALFRUNT - GAGRAVARR - GALACTIC GOVERNMENT - GALACTIC HISTORY - GALACTIC NOMENCLATURE OFFICE - GALLIFREY, TALOS IV - GAME SHOWS - GAMGEE - GARGOYLES - GAZPACHO SOUP... - GENUINE PEOPLE PERSONALITES - GERBILS - GERMAN LANGUAGE, The - GINGER WINE - GIRAL - GLORANTHA - GOD - GOD'S FINAL MESSAGE TO HIS CREATION - GOD, NON-EXISTENCE OF - GOLD LABEL DRINK - GOLGAFRINCHAM - GOODBYE MRS NOAH - GOOSNARGH CAKES RECIPE - GOPHERS - GOR - GOR SOL IIIa - GOVERNMENT - GOVERNMENT VOMISACASSI - GRAFFITI CORNER - GRANT CHEQUE, The - GRATHPIRP COLLEGE - GREATER DRUBBERED WINTWOCK - GRITZ, The - GUIDE EDITOR - GUIDE FINANCIAL RECORDS - GUIDE RULES - GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN - GVROUGDES TAER - HACTAR - HAGGUNENONS OF VICISSITUS THREE - HAN WAVEL - HANDBAGS - HANGOVER - HAPPY DEATH - HARMONICA - HARTLEPOOL - HASTROMIL - HAVARDS LAW - HEALTH AND BEAUTY - HEAVY METAL (Origin of term) - HECTOR MCPERVE'S SHEEP SHOP INN - HEISENBERG'S UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE - H.U.P. - A REBUTTAL - HELEN MCCALLUM - HERNE THE HUNTED - HIKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE (Poem) - HINTS FOR HIKERS A to D - HIPPIES - HISTORY BOOKS - HISTORY OF SEX A to F - HODGESAARGH - HOLIDAYS - HOLLIEWOULD FIVE-D HOLLOSTUDIOS - HOMOPHOBIA - HOOLOOVOO - HORSES - HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT - HOW TO INTERPRET PHRASES IN JOB ADVERTISEMENTS - HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE - HOW, WHY & WHERE - HUMANS OF THE PLANET EARTH - IBM DEALERS - ICE GIANTS - IDLE PURSUITS - ILLITERACY AMONG GUIDE RESEARCHERS - IMMATURITY - INFINITE IMPROBABILITY DRIVE - INTERNET SEARCH ENGINES - INTERSECTION COVERAGE (Scottish Sunday Mail) - INTRODUCTION - INVISIBLE WRITINGS - IO BLASTER - IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS? - IVOR BIGGUN - JAGLAN BETA SONG - JAMMING THE THUMB - JATRAVARTID - JEREMY BEADLE - JOMSCARF - JOO JANTA 200 SUNGLASSES - JOURNALISTS - JUDICIARY PAG LIVR - JUNK FOOD - JUNK MAIL - JUNKY WUNKY LUNKY STUNKY WOO + BOFFO - K'KREE - K'ROTCH THE KINKY KLINGON - KAKRAFOON - KENT INSTITUTE OF ART AND DESIGN (Rochester) - KEVIN DAVIES - KILL-O-ZAP GUN - KITCHENS - KLINGONS - KNURD - KRIA - KRIKKIT WARS - KUTE BASH - LAB SESSION - LADY JANE - LAMBETH - LAZLAR LYRICON - LECTURES - LEEDS UNITED - LESLIE NEILSON - LIBRARIANS - LIFE , THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING - LIGHT BULB JOKES volumes A to G - LIVE ROLE PLAYING - LOGIC - LOSS OF TOWEL - LOST - LUCY BOND - LUNCH - LUTHER HEDGEHOG - MAD CLIVE SINCLAIR - MAGNIFICENT SEVEN - MAGRATHEA - MAINTENANCE - MAKEUP - MALIGREE`S WONDERFUL GARDEN - MANIACALLY DEPRESSED SULKING MACHINE - MARS - MARS BAR WRAPPER - MARS, STRAWBERRY FERRET, PUTZ - MARVIN - MARVIN THE PARANOID ANDROID - MARY SUE PHENOMENON - MASTURBATION - MATHEMATICS - MATHEMATICIANS - MATTER TRANSFERENCE TELEPORT SONG - MATTRESSES, GLOBBERING - MAURITS C ESCHER - MAYONNAISE - MEGA-SHIH-TZU (Arcturan, the) - MEN - MEN IN BLACK - METALUNA - MFI FURNITURE - MIGGLEZIMBLATT THE WOMBAT - MILLIWAYS - MILTON KEYNES - MINBARI - MIND OVER MATTER - MIRIAM MOSS - MOLDAVIAN ATTACK DOGS - MONEY, THE HISTORY OF - MOOSBACH - MORONS - MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE - MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE SONG - MOSCOW - MOTHBALLS - MURPHY SYNCHRONICITY PERVERSITY - MURPHY'S DOG - MUSIC - MUSAK - MUSEUM OF DISEASED IMAGININGS - MUSHROOMS - NAVIGATION - NEBRASKA - NECROTELICOMNICON, The - NEMESIS - NEW TALES FROM THE DIE-WORLD - NEW VOGON - NINJITSU - NITRO METHANOL - NO - NOEL COLLYER - NOSTALGIA - NUTRI-MATIC DRINKS SYNTHESIZER - NYRONDS - OCCARIS OCCARIANS - OCK DINOSAURS - OCTRAVENTAL HEEBIE PHONE - OIGY - OLD PINK DOG BAR - ONE OF THOSE SHOPS - ONOMATOPOEIA - OOLON COLLUPHID - ORANG-UTAN/HUMAN DICTIONARY, The - ORANGUTANS - ORGASMS - ORIGINS OF ZARQUONISM - OUTLAND REVENUE A & B - PADDY ASHDOWN - PAN GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTER - PAN'S PEOPLE - PANIC NOW - PANTRIES - PARANOIA - PARTIES - PATEETTINEN - PERN - PHARGILOR KANGAROO RELOCATION DRIVE - PHILOSOPHY - PHMOGS - PHOTOGRAPHY - PHOTON AJUITAR - PHYSICS STUDENTS - PIE FOR TRIBBLES - PIGS (Clever) - PINK FLUFFY BUNNIES - PIRANHA BEES AND STARGOATS - PIZZA A & B - PIZZAS, CONSTRUCTION OF - PLAGIARISM - PLANTLIFE - PLAYBEING - POETRY: Sztaynlyzz of Ounwuynn, Vogon, Azgoth, Earth - POGHRIL - POLICE SQUAD - POLITICS - POLL TAX - POLYSTYRENE PELLETS - PORK FUTURES - PORT BRASTA MEGA MARKET - POWER WORD KILL - PRATCHETTING, GAIMANING - PRIME MINISTER, JOHN MAJOR - PROCRASTINATION - PSYCHOLOGY, PSYCHIATRY - PUKE - PUNKIN CHUNKIN - PUZUMA, AMBIGUOUS - QUANTUM LEAP - QUEEN - QUOTES - QUOTES AND COMMENTS - RACIAL STEREOTYPES - RAFFLES - RANNOCH MOOR - RANT MODE OPERATIVE - RARE DISCWORLD ARTIFACTS - RAT FRITTER - RAVENOUS BUG BLATTER BEAST OF TRAAL - READING - REALITY - REASON - RECREATIONAL IMPOSSIBILITIES A & B - RECURSION... - RED DWARF COMMAND SUITABILITY TEST - RED JUMPER (THE) - RELIANT ROBINS - RELIGION - RIMMER, ARNOLD J. (First Technician) - RIO DE JANEIRO - ROB MCKENNA, RAIN GOD - ROCK MUSIC - ROLEPLAYING - ROLLERBALL Vs the MCC - ROMULAN - RORY - RUBBER DUCKS - RULES FOR MEN - SANTA - SATCHELS - SAURIAN WARCRIMES TRIAL - SCARBOROUGH - SCC LIFTS - SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT - SCIENCE FICTION - SCOTS - SCUMBLE - SENT TO COVENTRY - SERC - SEVEN STARS INN - SEVEN-LEAGUE BOOTS - SEX - SEX Part Two Million, 927.. - SEX AIDS - SEX SYMBOLS - SEXIST JOKES - SHADOWS - SHARE AND ENJOY - SHEEP - SHEFFIELD SPACE CENTRE - SHOE SHOPS - SHOPPING - SHRITWOD WAYHARD - SIDERIAL DAILY MENTIONER - SILASTIC ARMOURFIENDS - SILENCERS - SIR THOMAS CRAPPER - SIRIUS 4 - SISTERS OF MERCY - SIX ASPECTS TO LIFE - SLACK - SLEDGE HAMMER - SLOUCH - SMALL FURRY THINGS - SMALL STRANGE PERSONS - SMURFETTE - SNOOKER (The Interestin' Game) - SO LONG AND THANKS - SOAP OPERAS - SOCIALIST WORKERS PARTY - SOCIETY - SOCIETY OF KANARIAN ASSASSINS - SOMEBODY ELSE`S PROBLEM - SOURCERERS - SPACE - SPACE CORPS DIRECTIVES - SPACE MARINES - SPAM - SPEECH - SPEED OF LIGHT (Discworld, normal, Skoda, slug) - SPIN - SPROUTLORE - SPUD, THE PLANET - SQUONK OF BLAT - STAGEHANDS - STAIRS - STARSHIP DESIGN - STARSHIP TITANIC - STATING THE OBVIOUS, BELCEREBON - STATISTICS - STATISTICS - STEVE GLOVER - STOCK, AITKEN AND WATERMAN - STROH - STRUCTURAL LINGUISTS - STUCK UNDER A BOULDER - STUDENT LOANS - STUDENTS - STUNNED - SUB ETHA SENSOMATIC - SUFGRAFAT SIGMA - SUNDAY SPORT - SUNDAY SPORT (The) - SUPERMARKET TROLLEYS - SWEDES - T'PAU - TANGERINE DREAM - TAPE ADHESIVE (AKA stickytape) - TARPIGI - TASHA'S UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER - TCHEUCHTERS - TEA - TEAM BANZAI - TEASERS - TEMPOPHONE - TEN WAYS TO BECOME UNPOPULAR - TEN-MINUTE JOB - TERRACOTTA - TETRIS - THE 'SOD OFF' STAR CLUSTER OF SAGITTARIUS - THE 'TERRY' VIRUS - THE 96 COMMANDMENTS - THE BLUFFERS GUIDES - THE CAT - THE CHEMISTS SHOP - THE DARWIN AWARDS - THE DOCTOR A & B - THE DOPPEL-GANGER COMPETITION - THE EGO - THE EXCUSE - THE GENTLE ART OF SELF-PUBLICITY - THE GREAT PLAGUE OF 1666 - THE HEDGEHOG SONG - THE HOT WET WIFE 'XXX' cert - THE LORD'S MY SHEPHERD REVISED VERSION - THE MASTER - THE MOBIUS STRIP - THE NAKED GUN - THE ORBITAL DROP GOAL PLOY.. - THE POLITENESS CRISP OFFERING - THE POLITENESS SEX AIDS RITUAL - THE REASON - THE SECRET OF HITCH-HIKING - THE SONY WALKMAN - THE SPACE MARINES MARCHING HYMN - THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE - THE UNIVERSE - THE UNORTHODOX ENGINEERS - THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS - THE VENUS DE MILO - THE VILLAGE PEOPLE SING STAR WARS - THE X-FILES - THE YALPING NAMTAH TRIBE OF CITNAF 8. - THEORY OF INCOMPLETENESS - THONGIAN MESSENGERS - THROWN INTO SPACE - TIME: PAST PRESENT FUTURE - TIME PROBLEMS - PROBLEMS OF TIME TRAVEL - TIME: STREETMENTIONER GRAMMAR - TIME (its relation to conventions) - TIME LORDS - TIME TRAVEL - TIME: SUBJECTIVE TIME DILATION - TOILET - TOILET ROLL (THE) - TOOTHPICKS - TOP TEN SEX MANUALS - TOTAL PERSPECTIVE VORTEX - TOWEL COMBAT, A HISTORY - TOWELS - TOWELS AND THEIR USES - TRAIN SPOTTERS - TRANSSEXUAL TRANSYLVANIA TIME WARP - TRANSTELLA CRUISE LINES - TRAVEL NECESSITIES - TRAVIS BICKLE - TREKKIE COCKTAIL - TRIB-BALL - TRIBBIA - TRIBBLE PIE - TRIBBLES SONG - TRIFFID (ABERDONIA WESTIA) - TRIFFIDS - TROLLS HEAD, THE - TROUSERS OF TIME, THE - TRUTH - TUBE OF SMARTIES - TUFTS DOG SHOW - TWO EQUALS ONE - UKRAINE - ULTRA GOLF - UNIVERSE (Taking Over the..) - URSA MINOR BETA - USES FOR A DEAD TRIBBLE A & B - USS ENTERPRISE - VARGR - VEET VOOGAJIG AND BIROS - VENDING MACHINES - VL`HURG BATTLEFLEETS - VOGON POETRY - VOGONS - VORLON - VORTVOID OF QVARNE - VROOMFONDEL MAJIKTHISE - VULCAN - WALES - WALRNOLD'S TRAVEL AGENCY - WAR - WARNING FOR TRAVELLERS - WARPED FAST-FOOD - WARTHOG - WBL - WEATHER - WHALES - WHAT FORD DID ON PREHISTORIC EARTH - WHAT TO DO ON EXPLODING SPACECRAFT - WHELKS AND SUPERNOVAS - WHERE A MONKEY PUTS HIS NUTS - WHO'S WHO - WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX - WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN - WIDE AREA PRATCHETTING - WIDGET - WOGONS - WOMBLES - WOMEN A & B - WORK - WOW-WOW SAUCE - WOWBAGGER - WUTHRUNGING HEIGHTS - XAXIS (LIZARDS) ZIRZLA - XENOPHOBIA - XENOPHOBIA, OH YES! - YUPPIES - ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX - ZAPHOD'S OTHER HEAD - ZARK (THE), ZARK OFF - ZE PRUNEZINE ZONE - ZENTA & DIETRICH TIGER MK.3 COMMENT - ZHODANI - ZOLPHIA THURAN PSYCHIC WINE - ZZ9 DON'T PANIC ROCK - ZZ9 PLURAL Z ALPHA - ZZ9 PLURAL Z ALPHA plug