CLARINETS

A so-called "musical" instrument that is most commonly black in color with holes and "keys", as they call them, sporadically sprawled across its long, black tube.

These "keys" aren't the kind of keys that open up doors to mystical places, oh no, no, no. These "keys" when pressed on a clarinet cause it to produce the same awful noise at different sound frequencies, which doesn't help the listener's situation a whole lot, seeing that the more amount of sound one can get out of it, the more of a devastatingly dreadful thing it is.

The noise produced by a clarinet sounds like a mixture of a cow mooing while exploding and a drunken moose that has run its head into the same tree for the last 5 hours and still hasn't figured it out. It is highly recommended to stay as far away from clarinets as one can possibly be.