BODY DEBIT CARDS

The Body Debit Card is a credit-card-sized piece of plastic which can be used as a form of transport in an emergency. It debits you with a body at the point of use and credits you with one at its preset destination (the manufacturers do NOT offer any sort of guarantee as to the type of body it will credit you with, but it may be an improvement).

The preset destination is most commonly a very grotty disco which can only get customers in by giving away these cards, and once you are in you are of course obliged to buy the very over-priced drinks they sell, and dance with the only other things there¹.

The cards draw their power from the destination, and so if you are well out of range² nothing happens, but if you are only just out of range it may transport you part way in the right direction so that you might materialise in the heart of a nearby star, or in empty space, or perhaps only in the upper atmosphere, so that without the forethought of providing yourself with a parachute, space suit or portable self-powered air conditioning unit, this can have undesirable side-effects³.

The only worthwhile place you can get to with these cards is the Time Warp Disco on Ursa Minor Beta, run by Megadodo Publications, the publishers of the Guide. Cards for this disco are highly prized and only issued to deserving Guide researchers. If you are viewing this on a PC with Teleport for Windows installed, you can try out the effect by clicking on the accompanying picture of one of these cards, as long as the Earth happens to be within range of Ursa Minor Beta at the time. Please ensure you have the return fare to Earth with you, preferably in Altairian dollars, if you do not wish to hitch-hike back.