ECCENTRICA GALLUMBITS

The number of people to have survived a whole night with Eccentrica - the friendliest and most expensive woman in the Galaxy, whose erogenous zones (see below) are reputed to start some four miles from her actual body, and whose embraces are said to be not unlike an earthquake in a well filled snake pit - is Zero.

Her Erogenous zones are as follows, from the outer circumference inwards. Very nice zone Get out while you can zone Cuddly zone Flushed cheeks zone Perfumed Garden zone Soixant Neuf zone No Parking zone This is it zone Hold on to your - Too Late zone Orgasmic zone Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! zone Ultimate mind in orbit zone Pay up or else zone...

We couldn't get a picture of the real thing, but this is my friend Jackie doing the impression of Eccentrica Gallumbits that she usually does at parties after the sixth gin and tonic. The interesting thing is that although the third breast is merely an optical illusion caused by six or more gin-and-tonics, it is such a strong illusion that it is recorded by the camera.