PHMOGS

The galaxy, as everyone knows, has been around for a long, long, long, long, long time. A stupendously long time in fact that defies the definition of the word long. If one were to attempt to define the age of the galaxy one would have to use the word long approximately, technically speaking, a lot of times. And of course this can't be done in this space at this time because it would take longer than the universe will last to write the word "long" that many times.

The reason this is being mentioned is that in all of the long history of the long universe... well, the universe isn't long, it is sort of an ovular square with coconuts in it, but in all of the long history of the universe only a few of the many organisms that have inhabited it managed to make enough money to build one of the subject at hand: Pan Hyperdronic Multiphase Optical Generator Systems (PHMOGS).

PHMOGS are terribly expensive arrays of fantastic beauty and horrible taste. They are not visible from real space, only from ships in hyperspace. And they are not visible in that the eyes see them. Rather, the eyes are shown them with no choice as to whether or not they are seen. You can't look away, you can't blink, and you certainly can't sleep through one. Fortunately, only thirty-one of these monstrosities have ever been built.

They are best described as figments of one's imagination, where sub space beacons are placed in hyperspace. These beacons are configured to emit light at a particular wavelength, some visible, some not. What is odd about these beacons is that they are moving in circular orbits about each other at slightly above the speed of light. This creates a condition known as pluripupimomentia, where all of the light collides and reaches the viewer's brain at one instant, creating an extraordinarily beautiful spectrum that simultaneously causes one's guts to wrench.

These colossal displays of wealth, extravagance, beauty, technology and tackiness are, for first time spacefarers, one of the most sought-after attractions in the universe. Anyone who has travelled through space more than once and seen them once, however, has seen enough. They are avoided above almost all else by most pilots.

That made it all the more disturbing when a mysterious 32nd PHMOGS appeared in the middle of a major commercial shipping route, bearing the words "Viva Las Vegas" in big bold letters and "Long live the King" in slightly less bold and less big letters. What this meant and where the money necessary to build this monstrosity came from were items of knowledge possessed by only a few, including some accounting executives at Infinidim Enterprises, a now deceased human named Ford Prefect, a planetary designer named Slartibartfast, and a very good, and suddenly very wealthy, lounge singer.