POWER WORD KILLContributed by Alex StockwellWay back in the mists of time, there was an ancient race of beings who had the extraordinary ability to say a word and have it happen in the exact way they wanted it to happen, as opposed to the usual random way that could often end up being rather embarrassing. They would say, for instance, "KILL!", and whoever it was they wished to die would do so rather promptly, and in whatever way the speaker wanted them to, providing, of course, they actually wanted someone to die. The eventual problem with this ability was that someone would have a bad day and end up wiping out the entire community. This caused their numbers to dwindle rather swiftly, and their leaders realized the race wasn't going to last very long. So, as a solution to this depressing problem, they found a planet inhabited by a race of ape-descended life-forms who were still in their early stages of development, abducted some specimens, and crossbred with them. As a result, many of the ape descendants today have this ability, and some of them know that they have it. Often, they will use this ability to their own ends, merging it into their sentences, so as not to attract attention, ie, "Look at that lovely KILL!" or "The weather seems very KILL! today." This, of course, doesn't just work for "KILL". Other words that work are "HORNY!", which is often used by particularly unattractive people to get laid, or "GIMME!", which is often used by people to get free stuff. |