VOGON POETRYFrom the works of Douglas AdamsVogon poetry is, of course, the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning", four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate bid to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings1 of Redbridge, Essex, England, in the destruction of the planet Earth. |
1The original version of the script said that the poetry of Paul Neil Milne Johnstone (who went to school with Douglas Adams) was the worst, but editors2 get a bit uneasy if you say such things about real people, so the name was then changed to something almost, but not quite, completely different.
2 (Except Guide editors, of course)